In Limbo in Laos

So here’s the absurdity of Asian culture that’s left me stranded in Laos. (OK, so thanks to my parents and the ultimate trump card of a second passport I will never really, truly be stuck anywhere…) But hear me out.

So it was one year ago today I hopped a Metro-North train into Manhattan and gleefully obtained my business visa to go to Thailand.  My year is now up which means I have to leave the country and get a new visa. No problem and kind of exciting to map out all the major cities across South East Asia and take my pick of which one to visit. 

Communist Laos.... not ideal for business, duh.

I choose Vientiane, Laos (yes, that’s the capital) because I’m not really a fan of big, modern, cities, especially when I already live in one. Vientiane is small, full of temples, Frenchness and foreignness – perfect for me, though maybe not for my visa run. Laos is one of five remaining communist countries in the world and probably one most people would never think of when playing the country game on some long, cross-country road trip. Places like Lebanon, Lithuania, Luxembourg or even Libya are more likely to pop out ahead of Laos and that’s really kind of sad.  Anyway, if I had thought of this I might not have come here. How many business visas does a small, oft-forgotten, communist country typically issue anyway?   It’s not exactly a hub of commerce. The answer….

Zero. I now know this for a fact.  (To my defense I did check their website before I left to confirm they issue business visas. It states they do and I even used their checklist to make sure I had all the required documents. See, right here….  http://vientiane.thaiembassy.org/vientiane/en/consular/consular_check/ )

So I tuk-tuk off this morning arriving at the consulate shortly after the 8.30 opening. I obediently get my number and wait with all the soon-to-be Thai tourists applying for more standard visas. My number gets called, I go up and handover my paperwork. He reads through everything slowly and deliberately.  I then realize from his questions he has no understanding of what a business visa is. Neither does his colleague. He declares he ‘can’t decide’ and then tells me to step aside and wait.

I sit for ten minutes.  Nothing happens.  My passport and paperwork now sit under a newspaper on his desk. I’m confused. Why am I waiting? What’s going on?

So I go back up and ask.  It turns out he can't decide, so we are waiting for Boss. Boss may or may not know about business visas. Boss is across town at the embassy. Boss has not been contacted. Boss cannot be contacted. Please sit and wait. Boss doesn’t come down to the consulate every day. Boss came down yesterday. Boss is very busy this week. Boss cannot be asked for help. Boss may not show up. Please sit and wait.  Boss cannot be told there is an issue they need help with. Boss cannot be summoned because culturally that would be insubordination. Please sit and wait.

Instead….

Lynn must sit and wait. If Boss does not arrive today, Lynn must come back tomorrow. Lynn must sit and wait. If Boss does not arrive tomorrow, Lynn must come back the next day.  Lynn must sit and wait. Boss may come. Boss may not come. Lynn must wait. Boss must not be contacted. Lynn must wait. Boss is very busy this week. Boss has a conference. Lynn cannot call Boss. Boss must not be disturbed. Lynn is disempowered. Lynn must sit and wait…..

Update: No Boss today. Tomorrow I go back. 8.30am – 4.30pm. Tomorrow I will sit and wait…..